So.

I was guilted into making an updated. Mostly because I am paying for this website... hahaha.

Anyhoo, I was due for a little update and I do need to vent a little.

Work - got a raise. It's not really something to 'vent' about, it's just something worth mentioning as a little update, I guess. Or not. I worked really hard for it, so I'm going to say it is worth mentioning.

Love - SD and I are just friends again. We just had some issues, so I thought it would be better if we just remained friends. Actually it was more like I had issues with him. They were actually foreseeable issues, because just about everyone warned me against him, but alas, I am the type of person who will give you the benefit of doubt and try to find a good in you, even if you have the word 'JACKASS' blinking across your forehead. I don't think he entirely understands what happens now, and I kinda gave up with explaining after a 5-hour texting conversation. How hard is it to understand that our friendship pretty much remains the same, just without the sex?

Let's just say, I've made some efforts to move on.

Travel - I've been really itching to get out of town. Just change the scene a little. I'm going through my "Itch" phase where I just want to get away from everything because everything has been so mundane. I was supposed to go Vegas this weekend, but plans fell through. I think I might escape to New York City again next month, but I'll have to think about it more, although I hate putting a lot of thought into stuff like this. Just up and go...that's how I lik

One of the things I love about summer is that my weekends are mostly, if not all, always jammed-packed with things to do. Sometimes I have too much to do, that I end up putting a lot of stuff off for a long, long time (I actually have a mound of pants yet to be hemmed...).

I don't believe there was one weekend since June that did not go by that I had nothing to do. Somehow the weekdays go by so quickly, and there's just not enough time to finish anything during the week that it gets pushed to the weekend. *sigh. Weeks need to be longer than 7 days, just like how hours are pushed back for Daylight Savings.

SD and I are attempting to complete a leg of the Waterfront Trail by the end of this summer. Leg #2, to be exact (Toronto to Hamilton). So each weekend, we jog (actually I rollerblade because I absolutely hate running) for several kilometres. I honestly don't know if we will manage to finish it by the end of the summer (as of today, we have so far made it to Oakville in about a month), but I am amused by how we somehow manage to dedicate a day out of the weekend to try and cover some of the Trail (except for two weekends ago when we went camping). I am going camping again this weekend, but I promised I would come back early enough to put in a few hours at least. I kinda like that we have a common goal/interest, because I feel like we come from different worlds and he hasn't experienced a lot and I'm showing him a whole new world (or vice versa). At least, that's what I would like to believe. However I think he's willing to just keep going on the Trail on his own and without me whenever I can't make it. I think he sometimes he even tests me to get me to ask him to "wait for me" (as in, don't do the Trail without me), but I won't. So far, though, he's waited. :D

Can't wait for this weekend: Summerlicious>camping>BBQ Party!

I am a pessimist. And this is why I'm going to say this: the beginning of relationships are oft exciting. In part, because it's new and unassuming. The sun seems brighter, lollipops are coming out of my ass and why are there rainbows everywhere? (Is that sarcasm I smell or is that a Lesley Gore song I hear?) However, there are downsides. Like learning about the other person's bad habits (which actually doesn't bug me that much) and, gulp, their pasts. Particularly their relationship pasts.

I, for one, not only look at their past, but also the people in their pasts -- particularly the exes. It's such a typical woman thing to do, to compare oneself to an ex. Do I look better? Is she thinner? Is she prettier? Do I treat you better? Is she nicer? Is she better in bed? All those questions that run through your head can make someone go crazy, especially when these questions cannot really be answered by the one person who can truly answer them.

The other day I was shown some pictures of SD's ex. I've actually met her before, back when they dated, but I guess I never really took notice of her until now. She's everything I'm not: tall, gorgeous and has a banging body. It probably didn't help that his own sister commented that he was a fool to let "the best thing that ever happened to him" go. I am normally not that insecure, but I guess lately, I've let my guard down. Way down.

Some might disagree, but I believe that one's relationship history can say a lot of one's self. Someone who goes from one serious relationship to another relationship can be seen as someone who just can't stand to be single. Someone who ends up in nothing but long-term relationships are often not looking for anything temporary. A girl who dates guys double her age may want security and to be taken care of. A girl who dates guys who are 'below' their type, probably just like to make themselves feel better. Someone who has had no relationship experience is always on the lookout for the next best thing and gets bored easily.

The real question is: how do you "compete" with someone's past? It's often a self-declared war, but that's probably the worst war of all. It's the battle of Reason and self-doubt. The battleground is in your head. The casualties? Your self-esteem and quite possibly the people who bother trying to point out that you're over-thinking and then they get shut down.

There are two ways I can personally deal with this. I can either suck it up and leave the past in the past or I can let these nagging feelings eat me alive to the point of exhausting mind games and disappointing conversations where he doesn't understand what I'm trying to say.

The reality is, though, the Past cannot be changed (that being said, neither can the Future). The Present is quite possibly the closest thing that can control an uncertain Future.

I had a lovely Greek dinner with Mel, Konrad and Vicki some 5 hours ago, and I still feel very full, like I just finished eating. I barely finished half my meal! I have the stomach of a 3-year old, I swear.

As of late, I've been listening to quite a bit of "emo" music, like The Veronicas, Paramore (probably because I'm seeing them in concert in a week!) and Drake ("emo hip hop", I've decided) which is weird, because I am not really in an "emo" mood.

Work is busy, which is good. I'm expecting a raise this summer,and I've moved (yes, again!) into my very own office suite. I'll be given alot of responsibility managing two offices and a soon-to-be-hired assistant. I've even somewhat gotten off my ass with house-searching. SD and I checked out some neighbourhoods the other night. For some reason, I thought Derry and Airport was a good area, until a crack whore approached our window while we were waiting at a red light. Back to the drawing [MLS] board.

SD and I have been getting on pretty well lately. I call him 'SD' now because he's a shit-disturber, but I like him in spite of it and I tell him that all the time. Is that weird (that I like a shit-disturber, not that I put him down because of it)? What can I say? I always go for the jackasses. He kinda reminds me of a certain ex, in that he reminds me that I don't need to take most things in life so seriously, and he makes me realize how irrationally serious I can get. I guess it's good to be around someone who brings that out in me. We are not in the boyfriend-girlfriend stage yet because we have some things to iron out (namely, serious trust issues), but I am comfortable with where we are. We enjoy our time together and we like each other but we also respect that each others' options are also still left open. I figure this is just a good transition for me to move from wild and reckless, single gal to wild [between the sheets only] one-man woman. Look at me, I'm growing up.

Speaking of 'up', I saw the movie, Up the other day with friends. I'm not going to lie, I cried. I haven't cried during a movie since The Man on the Moon (the one with Reese Witherspoon, not Jim Carrey). I just hate seeing old people being sad and lonely, especially when they have no one left to care for them. Anyone with grandparents or even elderly parents can relate to this feeling. This is probably one of the only things that will make me cry. There, now you know one of my weaknesses. Somebody call the Cold-Hearted Bitch Police.

Is it possible to feel lonely, yet be surrounded by lovely people? Can you lose something or someone that wasn't yours to begin with? Does it make sense to want so much and have the resources to obtain them, yet you just feel like everything you want is unreachable? Is it possible to feel lost, even though you are given plenty of directions to choose from?

Lately I've been finding it increasingly difficult to move forward with anything. I have so many things I have put on hold -- house-hunting, getting a new car (although, that's purely just a want, not a need), organizing my finances (awaiting the tax return that will determine my actual worth), making trips to visit people I've promised to visit, settling personal debts (and collecting on them), taking the LSATs or obtaining a Paralegal license, hemming a pile of pants, completing my Writer's certificate at UofT ... I even have unfinished scrapbooking with hundred of photographs from two years ago collecting dust. My focus is gone. Things are happening beyond my control and I hate it.

I think I may need a personal assistant, but that would just add to the pile of things I need to do. I've even been procrastinating with hiring an assistant for work, so hiring a personal assistant would just be another feat to accomplish.

I guess everyone has their moments where things are moving so much and so fast that they don't know what and where they're going. I get antsy and anxious and then I feel like just getting away from everything, because that seems to be my [temporary] solution to everything. I'm the Ultimate Procrastinator -- I will physically try to get as far away from my problems, like leave town, just to avoid doing things and I really feel like doing it now.

Please, somebody stop me.

Call me crazy, but this seems like my dream vacation:

"For six days, people from across the world -- accountants, school teachers, farmers, CEOs -- will run 150 miles, the equivalent of five consecutive marathons, across one of southern Africa's most remote landscapes. Without showers, toilets or beds, the racers must fend for themselves by carrying in their backpacks all the food they will need for the week...The first three courses -- each about 150 miles -- run across Chile's Atacama Desert, where it hasn't rained in 200 years; China's Gobi Desert, where the first dinosaur eggs were discovered; and North Africa's Sahara Desert..."

Awesome, eh? Except I wouldn't run (at least, not the entire way) because I have the lung capacity of a 3-year old and the knees of a 70-year old (can you even run on the in the desert?). In any case, this sounds a lot like the show Amazing Race but it seems so much better. None of the frou frou-ness and you wouldn't have to deal with the locals (excepts for the lions, tigers, and bears, oh...yes!).

Racing the Planet Limited is officially on my 'To-Do' List.

It appears that yours truly may take up a boyfriend some time in the near future. It's a bit complicated (although in all honesty, it shouldn't be, but I'm just complex like that), but after mingling with my options and what may lay ahead, I may give in to *gulp* monogamy.

I'm going to miss living out my 'wild 20s'. It will probably go out the window along with my notion that platform runners are a good idea. I suppose I could still live out my 'wild 20s' with a boyfriend, but so long are the days when I could hook up with guys at parties and tell my dates about it the following week. So long are the days that I could get The Call in the middle of the night and giggle about it over tea with my girlfriends.

I'm going to miss this.

Everyone knows the 'Golden Rule' amongst guys -- a dude is prohibited from sleeping with with a friend's ex. In fact, I refer to Article 1 of Barney Stinson's The Bro Code where it states: Thou shalt not sleep with your Bro’s ex-girlfriend. The Code was created for the sole purpose of maintaining friendships amongst men by creating simple, common-sense guidelines so that not even one stupid, penis-driven, alcohol-induced action could ruin a friendship.

This now begs the question: Do chicks have a similar set of guidelines amongst themselves? Let's be honest, chicks do not go by the same rules guys have amongst themselves as friends. Some women seem to pass around and spit out exes like wine at a wine-tasting session and throw away their friendships just the same.

I propose that 'a Bitch Code' be created and be collaborated by women who have experienced so much unnecessary drama due to irrational actions and emotion-driven 2 a.m. text messaging arguments. Why? Because lately, I've just been noticing that the reason why I probably don't have a lot of chick friends is because they're not as good guy friends. Girls seem to always want to compete and compare each other and don't seem to care whose stiletto-toe they step on. That's not to say that guys don't do it; trust me, they do, and I see it all the time. But what makes them say "Fuck it" at the end of the day and still be the best of buds? They are able to not let the little things in life ruin their friendship. After all, every one is entitled to at least some drunken outbursts or drug-fueled brawls. The opposite sex will also always be an issue, because it's just Nature.

As a society who live under the Rule of Law, women should also adhere to similar guidelines to govern themselves because let's face it: we are an emotion-driven bunch and our ferocity is enough to destroy great relationships and long friendships from simple acts of PMS. And it happens over and over again. I call this the Bitch Cycle.

I hereby submit several first draft clauses to the Bitch Code:

Article 1: Thou shalt not sleep or hook up with another bitch's ex unless a 'Mutual Release' has been agreed upon. This Mutual Release shall include an inherent understanding, whereby:
i.) the former bitch consents to the hook up and clearly acknowledges that she is clear of the hook up;
ii.) details of the former bitch's 'sexperience' with said ex is never disclosed unless it's for comparative reasons including, but not limited to confirmation that "it's him, not me"; and
iii.) the former bitch releases any liability to the bitch hooking up with the ex for any hard feelings and may not use the said action against her.

Article 2: Notwithstanding Article 1, thou shalt not have cause for bad feelings against another bitch for hooking up with their ex after they have given full consent and acknowledgment that that the hook up with the ex.

Article 3: Thou shalt not disclose to their current significant other any communication between herself and her bitches with respect to their relationship problems, bedroom problems, family problems and money problems, unless the significant other authorizes consent for discussion of said problems to be had outside their relationship.

Article 4: Thou shalt encourage other bitches to get hers.

I invite other bitches to contribute to this Code to put an end to the Bitch Cycle, because the Bitches who belay together, play together.

I am finally sitting down and trying to make a vain attempt at starting to file my taxes. I got all the necessary paperwork, and I've nestled myself quite nicely with my calculator, pen, investment statements and invoices, and then realized I am missing one crucial item: the income tax forms. *sigh*

So here I am, writing away, making do with my time before I leave with Trang and the boys for some party in Brantford in a couple of hours.

The warmer weather is finally here but I'm stuck at home because I can barely move my legs and my abs ache like fuck. I had a pretty intense Konditioning class at the gym two days ago (yeah, two days) and I'm feeling it today. All in an attempt to prepare myself for bikini season. Damn, I really wanted to go rollerblading at the beach today. I almost wish we had this type of weather all the time, like in California, so that I'd be more apt to do things. The cold, dreary weather makes me wanna just sit at home and dawdle on my computer and then later realize how I wasted the day.

Victoria Day long weekend is coming up soon and I can't wait. It's too cold for camping but I'm itching a bit to just rent a cabin or something. Time to reconnect with Mother Nature, and share a drink or two with her while I'm at it. Anyone got any suggestions on where to book? I haven't had much time to do real research but some of the research I have done between phone calls and closings at work, I've noticed that it is kinda pricey. C'mon, people! Recession!! Give me a good deal!

I'm hoping that this weekend won't be too time-wasted. Taxes, Brantford, April's birthday and my much-anticipated supermodel issue of Vogue (thanks, again, Kathy and Mel! <3) arrived and is enticing me to read all weekend and crave a $1,200 pair of Guccis.

I wish I could frame this:

^WHERE IS DARIA?!!!!!!!!!

Ok, that's enough. I'm gonna waddle to the post office and get some income tax forms.

I can't wait for warmer weather. I am so itching to go camping, for some reason. It could be because we passed a lot of campsites during the 6-hour road trip to Montreal.

Montreal was just awesome. All the craziness, and none of the regrets. I don't even know where to begin so I'll summarize with a list in the order that it comes to mind.

- Our hotel "suite" was ghetto to the max. Not only was it in a sketch neighbourhood (someone's car got broken into just down the street from our hotel), we got a ground-level room with bars on the window. The windows didn't even have locks, so we would leave hangers in the window jams whenever we left the room. We had a kitchenette but no one really felt like cooking on it (and that's how sketch it was). I'm not sure how 8 of us slept comfortably, but we always seem to make do. One of the pros of our room (besides the low nightly rate), was that we were near the back door so we never had to pass the front desk and I think we got away with a 500 sq.ft room and 8 drunk and high people for two nights.

- It's not a trip to Montreal without a little "amour". Some people hooked up in Montreal and some people didn't. Not gonna say who.

- I accidentally 'drop-kicked' my beloved Sony Cybershot camera when I decided to take a picture while walking. I dropped it, and kicked it some distance and even heard the homeless guy next to me go "Ooohhhh". Yeah, it was bad. RIP my beloved small, perfectly shaped camera. I bought a new camera right away (that's how disposable I think my income is), so I recovered pretty quickly. And then I dropped the new camera not more than 2 hours later.

- I got us a booth and bottle service at Orchid nightclub. I'm not sure why I chose Orchid, since we went there the last time we were in Montreal. It could be because it was open bar for chicks (but we soon realized 'open bar' really meant a crantini meant cranberry juice with a dash of vodka). The bottle service and booth, lasted for, oh, an hour when the manager kicked us out of the booth because apparently it was already reserved. It put a bit of a damper on our night because they moved us to the bar, but we got over it pretty quickly. Alcohol tends to do that. Great music, too.

- I knew of two other friends who were each going to be in Montreal the same weekend with their friends (great minds think alike?). I didn't see either of them, even though we had previously agreed to. That's what happens when everyone travels in large groups that travel like buffalo -- nothing moves in a timely manner.

- I never got to go to Super Sexe strip club. Boo. Hopefully next time.

- After Orchid, Mel pretty much lost her voice and was very drunk. Everyone agrees that we love drunk Mel and her 'Miley Cyrus' voice.

- It could have been a mix of a hangover + still drunk + extremely comfortable Victoria Secret bra, but the morning after Orchid, I got in the shower with my bra still on for some reason. When I realized I still had it on, I tried to jump out of the shower and promptly slipped and fell. I finally put the rubber mat down so no one else would fall to a similar fate as me. I now have a huge bruise on my leg to remind me of that hilarious morning and Cuong telling me how he was debating on whether to bust into the bathroom to help or risk an embarrassing premature rescue.

- We hot-boxed our rental van (no, I didn't smoke, but I enjoyed the second-hand). It was pretty fun. And Cuong found a new topic to argue about: how he can't get high.

- On our first night there, I led everyone to this Chinese restaurant I went to the first time I was in Montreal and I met these guys from NYC who took us out to eat after the club. Trang claims that he can tell how good the food is in a restaurant judging by their washroom. I know we always consider Trang to be such an idiot and he does say some stupid things, but it becomes a scary world when he is right. Jez found an ant in her rice.

I didn't get much sleep all weekend and I can feel my throat getting sore, which means I'm going to be sick. Yay. I think this is my body telling me that I need to sit down and finally do my taxes.

^Cuong trying to lay his game down

^Nhung sums up the trip quite well

^It's not Montreal without some deep-throating